You know who these couples are. You see them out to lunch, laughing and comfortable in each other’s presence, giving each other their full attention. They are affectionate, even after years of togetherness. And they genuinely like each other; it’s as plain as the nose on your face. You can’t imagine them not being able to solve a problem, overcome a crisis, or reach a goal together.
Do you want what they have? Both Kerry and I do as well. We have spent years, not only watching and observing, but being students ourselves of our marriage and relationship.
Through these years, we have learned how to create a strong marriage so as to withstand everything from a financial crisis to a dumb fight over how to load dishes in the dishwasher. But we’ve also learned what happily married couples don’t do from numerous examples all around us.
5 Things Happily Married Couples Don’t Do
Let us present to you and your spouse a “stop to-do” list so as to begin to create a stronger marriage. However, don’t forget, this requires both of you in full participation…
They don’t let anyone else define their relationship
Their lifestyle, decisions, and goals are based on what they mutually want, not what they think looks good. They don’t bend to pressure to live a certain way, make a certain amount of money, or own certain things.
The life they create together is for their enjoyment and happiness, and they don’t seek approval from other people. Happily married couples know the only votes that count are from the people inside the relationship.
They don’t blame
This is a total time waster, and happily married couples know it. Instead of blaming each other or outside forces, they look at the problem and how they can solve it together. Did you get that, they solve the problem, crisis, conflict….TOGETHER. They know that blame is a circle of frustration because it doesn’t solve the underlying problem.
Happily married couples focus on solving problems instead of laying the blame.
They don’t look for hidden meaning
Reading between the lines and guessing games don’t appeal to happily married couples. They don’t create drama where there is none, and they don’t assign motives that aren’t there. They take their partner at their word, and they assume he or she is always coming from a good place. If there is confusion in what is said, they ask questions to clarify, not to inflame.
They don’t take each other for granted
Expecting your spouse to do something is okay; we all have jobs within a relationship. But not recognizing their contributions or thanking them can lead to taking each other for granted. People eventually feel like they are the only ones keeping the relationship alive, when that’s usually far from the truth.
Happily married couples say “please” and “thank you.” They acknowledge each other’s contributions to their relationship on a regular basis. They treat each other better than they do everyone else.
They don’t hide things from each other
This is so huge peeps! Secrets and lies will explode a relationship just like a ticking bomb. If your spouse can’t know what you’re doing, should you really be doing it?
Happily married couples know that it’s better to have a difficult conversation about negative spending, eating, or personal habits than it is to lie or try to conceal. A strong marriage can work through problems, but only if both parties know about them.
Here ya go: 5 Things Happily Married Couples Don’t Do.
Both Kerry and I have taken these 5 lessons to heart and intend to daily practice what we are NOT TO DO and replace it with what we are TO DO!
Continue to Redeem Back Your Marriage the way God created it to be!
Joe and Kerry