10 Simple Ways to Love On Your Wife

10-Ways-To-Love-Your-Wife

Husbands, please listen carefully… I want to share with each of you what basic, simple actions you can do to show love to your wife every day. Love doesn’t mean five-star restaurants or tropical island getaways. It’s the simple things that matter most.

While dream vacations and life milestones are important, it’s the simple things you do to show your wife how much you love her. Husbands, show love and respect to your Bride every day, and remind her why you were the best choice she’s ever made.

I would like to share with you 10 basic tips for showing every day love to your Bride. These are tried, tested, and true.

  • Introduce her with a compliment

    Saying something like “I’d like you to meet my beautiful wife,” or “Here’s my better half” goes farther than you may realize. Publicly recognizing her as your cherished spouse and best friend validates that you love her.

  • Embrace when you see her

    At the end of a long day conquering life’s battles and keeping the kids from climbing walls, you could both use a loving hug. Make a point of showing you missed her and are glad to be reunited. Stop what you are doing, make eye contact with her and hold her. A big kiss doesn’t hurt, either.

  • Ask her how you can help

    If this is a new one for you, she may think there’s a catch. With a sincere willingness to give a helping hand, ask how you can lift her burden and serve her. This gesture applies to more than yard work, but being in tune with her needs emotionally and spiritually, as well. Start becoming a student of your wife.  Watch, listen and learn. Sometimes she just needs a listening ear.

  • Let her pick the movie

    Or, if you’re playing games, let her choose. She needs to know her opinion counts in your marriage. Taking turns with these simple choices makes it easier to compromise on the bigger choices together.

  • Forgive her fast

    She forgot to put away the laundry, or accidentally broke your TV remote. So, she’s human, after all? With all that she does right, let it go when she makes mistakes.  Ask yourself, is this conflict worth our relationship?  After all, you’re no perfection yourself!

  • Hold her hand in public

    Some women are less inclined to public displays, but when appropriate, reach out and squeeze her hand. With the reassurance you’re proud she’s yours, she’ll walk a little taller, and smile a little bigger. Hold her hand when you pray. And hold her hand even when you are both in a fight. Holding her hand no matter what the situation speaks volumes to her heart.

  • Write her love letters

    You don’t have to be Shakespeare; the thought matters most here. Focus on specific things you love about her; the wrinkle in her nose when she laughs or how she finds joy in the little things. You can hide it in her makeup bag, under her pillow, or somewhere else she’ll discover it. She’ll be happily surprised and treasure your words for years to come.

  • Open the door for her

    Chivalry is not dead. Opening the door is a gentlemanly way to take care of your lady. She likely grew up wanting to be a princess. Be her prince!

  • Carve out time for consistent date night

    In an on-the-go digital world, it’s easy to get caught up in the minutia of kids, work, community, extended family and even church responsibilities. Set aside a weekly special night just for the two of you. It doesn’t need to be costly or extravagant. Just make an effort to court her, as you did when you were dating.

  • Let her fly

    As her partner for life, you are in the best position to help her reach her dreams.Dream for her as you pray for her. Words of encouragement are stronger than words of praise.

 

Husbands, begin by implementing one or two of these this week and then keep building on these actions until these all become a habit in your marriage.  I can truly guarantee you that your Bride will appreciate it and your marriage will be blessed.

Joe

Conflict in Your Marriage…

praying-couple

As you read this, I will have been blessed to have officiated the first of three weddings for this year. Kerry and I have journeyed with this couple since January spending time with them and counseling them as they prepare for their marriage and life together as husband and wife. We are blessed to be able to do Pre-Marriage Counseling as Husband/Wife and to also be a first hand witness to the genesis of each of these relationships-from courtship to becoming one as husband and wife.

During the 12 week journey with each couple, the primary focus of discussion usually turns to conflict in their relationship and how to deal with it in a Biblical manner.  Kerry and I tell each couple that Biblical Conflict is good and necessary to grow in their marriage; however, we so often are not taught what this looks like nor how to fight fair. One of my favorite Joeisms is to say, “If everyday were sunshine, you would have a desert.  Storms bring growth and new life; however, you need to know how to prune and manage that growth so it will not overrun your marriage.”  The need of effective communication thus in turn leads to how well your conflict is dealt with and what growth comes from it: nurturing or destructive.

Gary Thomas wrote a book, The Sacred Search-A Couple’s Conversation Guide, as a guide for pre-marriage counseling.  This has become our primary tool we use with our couples we journey with.  In chapter 6 of his book, Constructive Conflict, Gary delves deep into the attitudes and actions we each take as individuals with regards to conflict. I would like to share with you his closing paragraph in that chapter.  

 

When it comes to marital conflict, there are many unhealthy forms of communication—acts that make the conflict worse. Let’s agree to reject all these unhealthy methods of relating:

 

  • Hurtful words. So much harm can be done in so little time if we don’t train our tongues (see James 3:1–12). Name-calling or blasting back with hateful things has never solved a single marital conflict. It has never served the cause of love. It has never fostered intimacy.
  • Stonewalling. This is such a harmful and common practice. It’s passive-aggressiveness taken to a malicious level. When you agree to marry someone, you agree ahead of time to work through conflict. Stonewalling (the silent treatment or withdrawal) is essentially renouncing your wedding vows. Some introverted personality types may need a moment to themselves to collect their thoughts and pray, but this is different from refusing to engage with your spouse. It’s putting off resolution indefinitely, and that’s just wrong.
  • Bringing up the past. Adopt this mantra: “One conflict at a time.” There is no use trying to bring three previous fights into the current one.
  • Acting like you’re above being wrong. In most conflicts, two people are both behaving inappropriately. One might be 95 percent in the wrong, but there is still 5 percent to be owned. Your spouse’s 95 percent doesn’t excuse your 5 percent. Seek to grow, not to win, in every argument. Own that 5 percent.

 

 

As said at the beginning, this is a journey that takes time and practice on both individuals and it is not only necessary in a marriage, but in any form of relationships.  Praying that we all heed and own James’ teachings in his letter; James 4:1-3. Seek the Lord and His counsel as you then seek forgiveness from God and then from the one you are in conflict with.

 

In His Grip~

Joe